Trying to find myself

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Philippians Chapters 1 through 4

Many times I have heard people say that they are trying to find themselves. Some seek to find their identity in a career, some seek to find their identity in their degrees, and some seek to find their identity in their relationships. In the movie Jerry McGuire there are some famous lines like, “Show me the money” and “You had me at hello,” and when Tom Cruise looks at his wife and says, “You complete me.” Complete me? Think about this. Now Roxanna and I have been married for 40 years. We never had a song, movie, or book written about us, we just had each other. While I love her and know in my heart she is God’s gift to me she doesn’t ‘complete me.’ She makes me a better man, but she doesn’t ‘complete me.’ If you were to ask her the same question, she’d tell you that I don’t complete her. I know that’s hard to believe with me being who I am, but I don’t fill the God-shaped hole in her heart, nor am I supposed to. That is God’s job. To expect another person or relationship or a career or a degree to complete you and fill the God-shaped hole in your heart is setting you up to fail. It is unfair and unrealistic. In Philippians 3:9, Paul says that he gave up all the things that he was pursuing to find his identity. He realized what was missing was that he needed to “be found in God.” What Paul is saying here is that he found himself when he opened his life up to God. He was ‘completed’ in God. Rather than trying to find our identity in other things or other people we need to realize that until we find ourselves in God we will never be complete.

3 thoughts on “Trying to find myself

  1. Scott Hammond

    Its cool Dave, in case you can’t find yourself, I know where you live. Some things came to mind as I hear your words, and have thought about identity and being complete many times. To me, my identity and my completeness has already been established obviously “In Christ,” I know who I am regardless of the circumstances. I know God’s Will conserning this. Its a state of mind. Its the philosophy that I put first because Jesus is the Leader. But we also live in the natural world and there are many things that we identify with and feel completed in. Like all the things you listed. Important things. You and your wife are one flesh spiritually and if anything in this life adds to your completeness, its her. She is your biggest blessing in Life. You don’t know how it feels to have your soul mate divorce you, and I have worked through that and all the hurt and injustice. But I tell you Dave, the loss is still my greatest hurt. It was a big part of my life being attached to my wife. I don’t think its wise to tell people that there is a hole in their heart and even their wife can’t help to fill it. She should be able to do that better than anyone. How many of us eventually found Jesus after trying to find ourself? Haha! Some of us don’t want to find ourself! Its a battle of the mind, for our mind. Hosanna in the highest!

  2. Roxanna Diyanni

    I have found myself in Christ and Christ is in me. I am complete. I am thankful he has allowed me to be married to an amazing Godly man for 40 years as well. Roxanna DiYanni

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